All these changes taking place..

I think its true it is your mid 20’s that is the most self revealing and conflicting age and phase. When I heard about this so called quarter life crisis, I wasn’t so sure. I did not comprehend it was a serious possibility. Its on the other side of 25, I began to appreciate it. It’s essentially you and the people you know are going through some weird changes. Its not as obvious as adolescence with the voice breaking and sudden hormonal rages. Its subtle, hard hitting and more emotional. It’s when you realize the value of materialistic things and plan to earn them or live a normal life, its when you take responsibility of others for better for worse, its when you realize no matter how bad a day you’ve had your folks need you, you accept the heartbreaks but indulge them only in your own time, its when life is too busy to notice all of this at once, its like a movie in slow motion that time is playing and wants you to watch, its accepting that sometimes no matter how much they say you can’t let go, It’s trying to expert the art of behaving like you have, It’s convoluting conditioning and real time reality.

Sometimes I wish I knew what was beyond this. I wish I saw a clear picture when I try and look ahead. But I can still confidently see as far as the next couple of months. Its not like I need to broaden my horizons literally but have realized its true not much is going to around my design, so I need to work around whats designed for me. Its not giving in to fate or destiny or suddenly using them as an abili or over appreciating them. But it’s more like not denying them. Not being a rebellious kid declaring they don’t exist and you will always have things on your terms. Its knowing better than that. Its all the not knowing.. It’s the anxiety and process of finding… eventually and hopefully.. finding out..