Strings that tie to you..

While listening to the song ‘strings that tie to you’ from the movie Eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind.. I remembered this trivia I had read somewhere.. The title of the movie is actually a quote from Alexander Pope’s poem-Eloisa to Abelard

The world forgetting, by the world forgot.

Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!

This song stirs something inside me. His melancholic voice speaks intensely.. sadly.. each word more bitter less sweet..

From the wrinkles on my forehead
To the mud upon my shoe
Everything’s a memory
With strings that tie to you

In my dream I’m often running
To the place that’s out of you
Of every kind of memory
With strings that tie to you

Though a change has taken place
And I no longer do adore her
Still every God forsaken place is always
Right around the corner

Now I know it’s either them or me
So I’ll bury every clue
And every kind of memory
With strings that tie to you

And every kind of memory
With strings that tie to you

I remember thinking to myself when I had seen this movie that if at all such a procedure when on their relationship going in the dumps, a couple clinically erase each other from their memory is at possible? Say it is, though highly desirable if you’re getting over someone but surely not the best way out? As it turns out in the movie they realize  that they cannot completely and entirely forget and  it is through this separation they really understand what they had to begin with..

“Blessed are the forgetful, for they get the better even of their blunders.” It’s true good memory more often than not is a curse as memories then become stubborn and show up often. I remember when he begins to undergo the procedure even though is brain is not suppose to register what is really going on.. she is so deep into him that his sub conscience fights erasing of the memories.. thus messing with the procedure.. The doctor’s comments such as “We’ll dispose of these mementos when we’re done here, that way you won’t be confused by their unexplainable presence in your home.” terrorize him deep within and even though the only thing that he really wants to do is let go but it’s the only thing he cannot. Everything’s a memory with strings that tie to her..

Is moving on from any sorta loss a function of the heart or mind or brain? Agreed one can consciously to a great extent control their thoughts and actions.. what I am yet to understand is when does one know one has moved on.. What are the telling signs? When the dreams/nightmares/associations/sub conscious thoughts/feelings/love/hurt/half smiles/anger/fear/sleepless nights/fighting another person to fill that space/believing there is no other such person or thing/test of time go away?when these emotions in one by one or in a combination with one another leave you then have you really trully have moved on? Now that’s a tall order don’t you think?

I think and so do the Beatles “Life goes on within or without you” So for sheer momentum and friction and other logical concepts physics explains..its only natural you do move on one day one way or the other.. But if it was something real and something spiritually stunning then it stays but not in a perpetual longing or grief inducing way.. Eventually in a sort of acceptance that you have to live with this and its not so bad coz what happened was pretty darn great.. You just got to realize you were freakin charmed for such an experience to have happened to u at all! The war within trying too hard to move on or denying or undermining what it really was so that playing the fool makes it easier… just messes things up further.

If I was to be stuck in a situation where someones used by heart as a bait and cast their line and hooked on to my deep deep sub consciousness and  no matter how hard I fought for freedom the line just wouldn’t break.. I’d acknowledge that that was one helluva fisherman and be done with it.. I’ll learn how to make my peace with it.. and figure out how to best live with it.. Every kind of memory..With strings that tie to you